Bizzie's Brain

Tip Toeing

2009-01-24T17:26:00.000-06:00

Tip toeing through pastures patiently with no shoes on
Heading north towards the moon hoping our people can move on
Risking our everything walking carefully under the rail road
Realizing that freedom can become nothing but fools gold
Finding hope in the scriptures newest edition that they wrote
Telling us this is why we are where we are as our peers choke
Due to the neck ties they place around our necks to impale us
And now for there entertainment as we ride on a jail bus

For Her

2009-01-14T02:56:00.001-06:00

I don't argue with her
I'm attracted to her
Distracted from the bullshit
I've been impacted by her
My worries overcome
My stress compacted by her
She makes life easier for me
I am elastic for her
Bending the rules I've set for love
There is no lacking for her
So I'm up early home on time
I try and practice for her
Making sure I don't detract back
To what aggravates her
Lying, cheating, and dealing
They stay in the past just for her
I move faster for her
No deviations from the norm
My hearts been captured by her
The sole possessor of my love
My soul is active for her
I'm out the hole my debts are paid
I don't look back cause of her
I see the future it's so clear
This rhyme is crafted for her
Hoping my love will understand
I am not acting for her
Write these words down on this page
An show my actions to her

Clarity

2009-01-11T17:12:00.002-06:00

As an offering of clarity I give to you

A peek into my thoughts

They shift and shift and change up often

For battles internally fought

Against the biggest traitor of all

Tussling with temptations grand and tall

Stubborn so they push each other

Often ending up in a brawl

It seems that poetry offers calm

To my calamity after all

Loving the highs I reach through writing

While hating the sudden falls

Without it in my process daily

Things get missed and trees don't shade me

As the sun beams down on my behavior

Reflecting a taste that's hard to savor

I pause while not expecting Santa Claus

It seems realities been

Exposed through summers sudden falls

While hoping calamity ends

A cold July day is my birthday

Feeling like nothings worth it

Imagine my mind in spinning mode

While trying to write this perfect

Warm Winter Breeze

2008-12-27T00:03:00.001-06:00

There is something soothing about a warm winter breeze
The stability it brings
Maintaining my moods simplifying its usual swings

A warm winter breeze in December
Green leaves clinging courageously onto the trees
Wonderful how the warm air stabilizes the change
That falls bring

A warm winter breeze;
Balmy and dry
Offering a soft landing to a summer time high
A warm winter breeze easing me through the night
Darkness coming early makes my moods blend right

A warm winter breeze you would be content with
If you hadn't; crossed the Mason-Dixon for 12 summers spent
That turned into hard falls that offer a new cause
Like trying to get a cold heart warm
In an ice storm
Realizing that cold is the norm
Albeit full of flaws
Ending up successful only when moved without pause

A warm winter breeze slowing down the shifts
That sink ships in the pacific
When turbulent sees makes brains freeze
Tearing a bleeding heart apart
Trying to get another to start
But not moved by the screams and the pleas
That promise brings

She So Sweet

2008-12-11T04:16:00.003-06:00

She’s so sweet to me

She treats me well

I feel dependent on her love

It seems I’m under her spell

It’s her presence

It’s her essence

It's her patience

And statements

If she told me she was late

I’d still be happy she made it

She keeps me grounded

When I have the sky

At my feet

She’s so sweet to me

Without her I’m not Me

I love her look

And affection

I love her perfect

Complexion

I love every thing about her

Except the fact I don’t have her

Booker T Parson

2008-07-27T16:24:00.004-05:00

A mind is a terrible thing to waste. I say that as a statement of fact not opinion. One opinion of mine is that what we often refer to as our "heart" is actually our brain.

I tell people all the time to keep on thinking. I say that because many times I have caused myself and others pain because my pride prevented me from realizing the truth because I stopped thinking. Knowing when- to-say-when is crucial, complicated, and necessary for thinking as well as drinking.

All actions have consequences. My actions come from my thoughts. I thought in high school that smoking weed in the bathroom with Gary from Eatonville was cool. My friends from "my side of the tracks" thought that was a betrayal or an act of treason. "Smoking with the enemy is why you got caught", one friend told me later. They thought many things about me and since I wasn't into robbing banks there wasn't much that we had in common.

I've been many places in the 27 years I've been on the planet. Never left the country but have lived in three states. One of the many things I've learned from my travels and tribulations is that I am blessed in many ways that it took me years to understand.

Being a Parson and spending much of my adolescent years in Orlando provided me advantages that many of my peers, regardless of which side of the tracks they hailed from, did not have. Being a Parson doesn't just mean you have dozens of cousins, a couple dozen aunts and uncles, and two of the most loving grandparents one could have. There is much more to being a Parson than numbers and multiplication. I know lots of people with large "extended families" but not many are like the Parson. That's Parson no "s".

Being a Parson to me means that I have the honor of being able to say that one of the two worst ass woopings I've ever endured came from a woman that my mother's brother was smart enough to marry. Cara is her 1^st name, Aunt Cara is what I call her. Aunt Cara was once referred to as Cara Williams until uncle Martie did me a favor and married her making her a Parson and us a Williams.

I say I'm a Williams because that's my Auntie and Mrs. Williams is her mother and Mr. Williams, may he rest in peace, is her father. I say that I had the honor of taking that ass kicking because…...hey, it is what it was.

I thought it hurt because I was letting pride blind me to the love that I was receiving as she berated me effectively, efficiently, and with more conviction than I thought a woman of her height could muster. Actually her height had nothing to do with it. I just couldn't understand at the time. While she was busy berating me in the office, down the hall at least two dozen packed classrooms full of students and teachers were peaking through the doors and windows that sit high up on the doors. She had peered through a similar window moments before. I am still not sure how she managed, at that height, to peer through at me and shrink me instantly about a foot.

I can remember wondering if Mr and Mrs Williams had another daughter I didn't know about because for a moment I thought Auntie had a twin. As we walked down the hall tears streamed down my face. I stopped my brain and decided I had lost all my pride and dignity subsequently making me think it hurt as she said "Your mother works too hard for you to be called while she's at work to come get yo ass cause you wanna smoke dope in the bathroom!!"

Another thing I tell people all the time is don't get caught on words as having cingular meanings. When I came out of the imaginary box I was hiding in to say "I wasn't smoking dope Auntie, it was weed". It was as if she was now the one who was a foot taller and I was the shorter one. What I had thought the whole time was her anger and rage was amplified by my stupidity, pride, and pain. I let the usage of one word along with the manner of it's delivery prevent me from seeing and understanding the TRUTH. She, along with my mother, were the ones who were hurt and in pain. She showed me what love is that day

I can't speak for my friends from Alton Illinois, West side of Orlando or Eatonville both in Florida, or my friends on the south and north sides of Chicago.

Luckily for me, Cameron, Miles, Shaquina, Marcus, and Jamal and the rest of my family, being a Parson rooted into the Parson Family Tree which has become a forest, means much more than numbers.

I have an advantage which most of my friends didn't have. Being me, and who I am, Booker T Parson. I can say, with pride, dignity and with all of my heart. I am proud and dignified for that verbal lashing and the love from which it came. If not for the love of my people, the things I've been taught, and lessons I've learned I may not have had the courage to be friends with Gary from Eatonville in spite of the feelings of John, Bobby, and Billy all from my side of town but now scattered throughout the country in Federal Prisons.

Who am I?

2008-06-23T23:03:00.001-05:00

Who Am I?

That depends on who you ask and how much time you have. In short, I am who I am and will be who you want me to be. Don't judge me though because nobody is perfect. I know your not supposed to answer a question with a question; that's not what I'm doing. I am also not allowing you to fit me into a mold, narrowly defying my existence. Unfairly basing your definition of me on what you see or your understanding of what you think I do or don't believe in.

U see I can’t allow you to arrive at a summation defining my very being anymore than I can define myself. It's not that I don't have an answer to your question, or that I don't know "who I am".

I am William DeWayne Booker II.

Clynell's baby. Big DeWayne's carbon copy. Traci & Erika's little "Big" brother. Proud uncle of Tevin & Tyler. 1st cousin of Curtis, Tina, Wayne, Pat, Kim, Brian, Vina, Charles, Camara, and dozens more. The nephew of a couple dozen. Grandchild of Doris Ann, William Howard, Rosa & Ulysee. I am a Booker as well as a Parson, a Westbrook, and Jasper.

But of course that's not the answer you are looking for.

I am what I think. Therefore I manifest in the physical as the sum of my thoughts. I am a consequence of my actions, which come from the heart. My heart which is actually my brain. Forming my beliefs, my values, my morals. Forming my understanding for this inexplicable thing we call life.

I am alive. I am alive and living in the flesh physically and mentally sound. I am alive and live now without fear of death because finally I understand my immortality.

Without fear of death different than when in my younger days and during recent tribulations I believed and acted in a manner that would appear as though I walked with danger, seducing my demise, thinking with sound mind but choosing a course of action defiant of fear in the physical sense and often times narrowly escaping the inevitable.

My body will break down one day, subsequently being offered to the earth with a formal and somber last viewing of my body in the physical form. The difference between then and now is that before I was not afraid to die because I was afraid to live. This thing we call life was to confusing. Nothing made sense. But now it does.

I will never die for the reason that your read this. So long as this is published on a blog or website of mine or in print. Regardless if I have children or not. Who I am will live on forever.

Eternally existing so long as you read me and your understanding of my words which are a result of my thoughts. Thoughts that come from my heart which is actually my Brain. With all its complexities, transgressions, and metamorphosis.

But impossible to determine with any finality, so long as my Bizzie Brain dances on.